Gene's Blog

Two from Steve

I know this is taking the easy way out. And I’m okay with that. :^). I’m in a place, at the moment, where I’ve been every year since 1998, midway between my youngest son’s 21st birthday on January 7th and his death on February 11th. Every year I expect it will be different, that I will be past it, that it will be healed. And it never is. For those who have been here a while, you will know that I’ve seen people about this, made some strides, had some revelations and, in truth, I expected this year would be different. But it isn’t. He’s still gone and I’m still not okay with that. I love my remaining son with all my heart and he has had more than his fair share of struggles too, especially over the last 6 months, how much of that has to do with his brother I do not know, I don’t think HE knows. But 2/11/97 changed our lives, and, of course, his mother’s too, forever. When does that end? Does grieving ever end? I still miss my dad, but that does not keep me up at night. That, though, early and unexpected, and unwelcome, was in the natural order of things. What Brandon did was not. My baby boy, always had his own way of approaching things. He was the one who’d sit in the bathroom for an hour, opening the door occasionally to shout out a question to me like, dad, what holds up the stars? And he’d sit in there and sing. Not knowing I could hear him. And, to this day, I see him there in the hospital and remember thinking, oh Brandon, what you have done this time? It was always something, but it was always something we could fix, get through, finally he did something no one, not even me, super dad (and is that a misnomer) could fix. So, I have enough pills now that I can sleep again. But I never rest.

So, tonight, two wonderful stories from Steve Goodier, and for those wondering, yes, I have his permission to post them. much love, :^) gene

THE BROADCASTING STATION

George Washington Carver observed, “I love to think of nature
as an unlimited broadcasting station through which God speaks to us
every hour, if we will only tune in.” But it is sometimes hard to
hear the message when it is broadcast by equipment that is dirty,
corroded and abused. Carver was born 150 years ago, before we used
terms like toxic waste, air pollution, global warming and
deforestation. Today, we have figured out that we need to take good
care of the broadcasting station if we are to hear what the Divine
is saying.

This is a beautiful and fragile planet we live on. As much as we can
fall in love with magnificent sunsets and pristine landscapes, few
people have ever experienced its beauty as acutely as those who’ve
seen it from afar.

Senator Jake Garn was one of those privileged people. He observed
earth aboard Discovery Space Shuttle and wrote of that experience in
“Parade Magazine” (11-3-85). “I know now what if feels like to be out
of this world,” he said. “The experience is exhilarating,
breathtaking, awesome. No. Those words aren’t strong enough; space
flight is indescribable. ” Listen to these words from his space diary:

“I was overcome by the beauty of the earth below. I don’t
think the words exist to convey what it’s like to see the earth
from space. The curve of the earth, the swirling eddies, the
patterns of clouds marbling the surface above the brilliantly
blue color of the water and the blue-green of the land.the
sheer beauty of the earth and the excitement of being in a
position to see it made this the greatest experience of my life.
Using binoculars, I once counted 22 discernible layers of blue
in the band of sunrise color that would be seen from earth
simply as blue.”

This is indeed a beautiful and fragile planet. But it’s changing. And
we humans are the cause of much of it. George Burns once quipped, “I
can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.” All right, he
lived to be 100, but we can bring those days of clean air back. We can
live simply and responsibly. We can walk gently upon the face of the
earth.

And with our broadcasting station once again in good order, I think I
know what we’ll hear God saying: “Thank you.”

and then:

THE GUTS TO FAIL

Someone quipped that a classified newspaper ad read: “For sale.
Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.”

I realize that we cannot afford to fail in some endeavors. But I also
know that we cannot afford NOT to fail in most of what we do.
Unfortunately, too many of us live by the motto: If at first
you don’t succeed, don’t admit that you tried. Why? We often feel
ashamed or embarrassed when we fall flat.

In his book THE COURAGE TO FAIL (McGraw-Hill, Inc. 1993),
Art Mortell tells about a conversation he had with baseball’s Lou
Brock. It took place when Brock held the record for stolen bases. He
was about 35 years old at the time and his days as a professional
player were winding down. Brock was talking about why he successfully
stole more bases than younger, faster players.

“When you start out in baseball,” Brock said, “you’re young and you
have the speed and reflexes. However, when you try to steal second
base and you get thrown out, it’s a long walk back to the dugout, with
40,000 fans watching you. When you reach my age, you come to
understand that records are not set by being the quickest, but by the
willingness to look bad in the eyes of others.”

There are other ways to avoid failure throughout life:

* Never ask anyone out. There will be no possibility of rejection and
embarrassment.

* Never ask for a promotion. That way you will not risk the
humiliation of being turned down.

* Never go back to school. You cannot fail a class you do not take.

* Never change careers. You’ll never fail at something you never try.

* Never try anything you’ve never done before.

If success is just avoiding failure, I don’t want it. But if success
is about pursuing a passion or finding the guts to risk in order to
experience life fully, then I want it. Even if it means a lot of long
walks back to the dugout while everyone is watching.

— Steve Goodier
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