Gene's Blog

A movie review

So, not much to say the past few days. Sort of been within, things have been odd, it is the season, partly, I’ve lost all sense of it, many years ago, maybe almost 11, maybe before that. But definitely since that. So, Jenna’s been having me watch some of the oddest movies, some on tv, some she’s had me rent. In each, as always, comes a place where she tells me “this is what I brought you here to see, my love”. Sweet, she really is. Which is one of the ways I am always sure who is who in there, giggle. Cuz, I am not always very sweet at all…

So – she’s tried to get me to rent this one several times, I’ve picked it up, looked at it and put it back. I knew what was in it, I thought, did NOT want to go there. It’s called Away From Her, it stars a woman I’ve not seen in a movie in many years, 20 or more, I’m sure, Julie Christie. That happens to most women in Hollywood, they disappear after 40, not all, but most. That isn’t the case with men. It is one of the things I find ludicrous about that entire industry. And why, for many years, I’ve avoided movies, unless strongly pushed – and really, jen is the only who who can push me, I’ve never let anyone else. That’s sort of an aside. :^)

So, I’ve kept putting this one back. The back of the jacket made clear what the story was about, I actually saw this story play out in real life, didn’t think I wanted to see it happen again. My maternal grandmother, in her mid-80’s, began to lose herself and by the time she died three years later, I saw the hell that puts those who love them through. My grandfather drove the 15 miles or so in to see her every day. He was still strong and capable, there were many of his contemporaries in that place. I know she did not know him, or at least not much, during most of those last two years. He spent most of the next five years, sort of looking off into space. Sometimes, he’d say a thing, like, “I don’t know why I have to live so long”. When he fell and broke his hip in July of 1977, a few months after my son died, they set it just fine, sent him to that nursing home to rehabilitate and he died in his sleep his second night there. The last two years this disease had begun in him too, short term memory loss only really, but strong evidence of that. Still, I think he died of a broken heart, after 66 years of marriage, he couldn’t bear life without her. I admired that then and I do now too.

So I figured I knew what this movie was about and kept putting back on the shelf. Friday night I finally took it home with me and tonight, I watched it. It is an amazing movie. Julie Christie has lost NONE of her talent, Gordon Pinset is marvelous as her husband, and Olympia Dukakis is a powerful presence in the movie too. Worth watching. Sad, fair warning, there is nothing easy about this disease. And I did not enjoy reliving what I had seen once before. But it wasn’t that experience that jen brought me there to see. There’s a line late in the movie, where Olympia Dukakis says: “It is never too late to become what you might have been.” THAT, is where jen whispered to me that was why she brought me to this movie. I suppose that is true, or must be to some extent. I do know people, and of people, who have been marvels long after the rest of us have settled for rocking chairs. I guess it is encouragement in a way. I know it is supposed to be. But I’m sick and crabby and resistant at the moment, still, I had to stop and get that line right. I know it is important. I know it is true. And I’m sure a day is coming when I’ll care about it in a way I can’t, not right now, not right after watching that. For now, I need to think about my grandparent’s a bit. Christmas Eve was always spent with them. So tonight, on the night before that, I want to relax into my tears and travel a bit down memory lane. Gots enough snow here for a sleigh ride, but I think I’ll do this under a comforter instead.

Not at all sure I’ll get back here for a couple days, at least, though I intend to come back to the books, I’ve not finished what I began there. Even if you thought I forgot, giggle, it isn’t my mind that is going. Nor will it be, jen tells me, which is good, I think, but watching this happen to anyone isn’t easy. Because there is no hope to give. I want to think about that for a bit too. Why that should be, I mean? Anyway, for a couple days, I’m going to let the season in, a little, and hope that all of you have a safe and happy holiday. Much love, :^) gene

The movie ends with a Neil Young song, sung by kd lang, whom I have not always been fond of, on a personal level, but whose music I do love. So what would a post from me be without at least one link? :^) I liked this song a lot, it was perfect where it was, where it is, because ultimately that is where Alzheimer’s leaves its victims.

Neil Young is incredibly talented and so is kd lang. Helpless

Artist: Lang K D
Song: Helpless (Neil Young)

There is a town in north Ontario,
With dream comfort memory to spare,
And in my mind
I still need a place to go,
All my changes were there.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless
Baby can you hear me now?
The chains are locked
and tied across the door,
Baby, sing with me somehow.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless.

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light, and remember it is never too late to become what you might have been. :^) gene