Gene's Blog

Two small things tonight.

The first is by far the most important. I used a horrible metaphor in my response to Jennifer’s comment the other night, when I said, “now the gloves come off”, which she took to mean, my fists were up and ready for a fight. That was NOT my intention. This is not a site wherein fighting is allowed. On the main page, About My Blog, sets the ground rules, and I said there that dissenting opinions are welcome so long as they are politely stated. I do welcome an exchange of ideas here and I intend to fight with no one. Differences of opinion are not fights. Not to me. Can they be? Of course, but Jennifer and I have a long history and fighting is not part of it. We are on the same page more often than not, and when we aren’t? We usually will eventually end up there. Discussion is how we do that and mutual respect. It is okay to agree to disagree too. I do not have a monopoly on the truth. In fact, I believe that truth, ultimately is something we all define for ourselves. I have a LOT in me. A WHOLE lot in me, some of which will come out here over time. I said that on my main site a few times too. But do I know that is truth? No. Not even for me. Not yet. At least not in my experience, and it is must, for me, be palpably IN my experience for me to know it as truth.

What truth I DO know? Is in the lights, and what I felt then, and in the awakening experience, those were physical things that happened to me. I KNOW them as truth, though metaphysical they may have been, they were in my eyesight and in my body and I FELT them and SAW them, as I wrote about them on the main site. So, there is my truth. The rest that is in me? Comes from Jenna, some of it has been realized, in small ways, a lot of it, most of it has yet to materialize. She simply says it is all coming and I simply wait. Until then, until I LIVE what is in me, those things are no more than ideas and no more true than anyone else’s visions of the future, theirs, mine, collectively. What shows up, I’ll choose. I am not sure I have choice about that, giggle. Though choice is always part of the experience. I guess what I mean to say is that if/when those other things show up? I’ll choose them with love and thanksgiving. I do not fear them. I do not fear Jenna. I do not fear what is to come. I am SURE this ends with me safe again in what I KNOW is my true home. If this be illusion? Matters not. I don’t care. This IS all I know here and I can’t travel out of my body, I can’t foretell the future and I can’t keep from stubbing my own toe. So I don’t care about the whole idea of this being an illusion OTHER than in sharing with others that I KNOW this is NOT all there is. That is why the main site exists. Just to share that idea. Hope. No matter what one’s lot in this life, we are all safe in the long run, we all go back to ultimate love. And I have seen just enough of it to promise all of you that it is wonderful. There is no fear there, no hatred, no envy, no inequality, no servitude, only love, all encompassing, all pervading love. THAT is our heritage. And why I put up the main site. That does not mean that I think this world is of no consequence, because I do. I think our experience here helps us appreciate our lives there even more. And I think we can find what we do here, rewarding to reflect on when we are back there. Even those of us who came here to show the rest of us what we are not. Book 1 talks about this in a story called “the little soul and the sun”, which I do NOT like, but which I believe is mostly true. I do not like it from here. I may well love it from there. From here, I experience it as horror, from there I suspect I understand it as love. It has been hard for me to reconcile those two feelings. I have not yet done so successfully and were it possible for me to make changes in the fabric of reality here, there are some I would make, lol. So it is probably a good thing I don’t have that sort of power. I might make something important go poof. So I accept what I am here, while believing this is not all there is, no not believing, KNOWING. I do KNOW it. THAT much is my truth. Would that I could give each of you that same glimpse, I think it would change the world forever. I hope I’m not running out of time to do that.

Anyway, what I meant to do here was apologize to Jennifer for having given her the idea that my silly attempt at metaphor didn’t mean I wanted to box, lol. I gladly accept her outstretched hand and believe firmly that without gloves on, hand to hand, we, the people, can feel the essence of each other flowing through our hands and each other and in that feeling find the will, the strength and the faith to be bringers of the light. So, I’m sorry Jennie, for having created such a false impression with that silly phrasing.

The second thing I want to do tonight is talk just a little about Mother Teresa’s book. I am having such a hard time with it. Despite my ANSIR profile, there is within me a great deal of empath, there has always been, I can FEEL what another feels, as if it were happening to me. And in her book, I feel the awful twisted truth she was taught. And it hurts. I hurt for her. I don’t wish to condemn an entire religion, although I well may before I am done with that book, but they have got love so twisted as to believe that God requires suffering as loves equivalent. They believe, she believed, that Jesus WANTED her to suffer as proof of her love for Him. That entire religion is built on that premise. That suffering, that vows of poverty, celibacy and humiliation are what their Creator asks of them as proof of their love. It hurts to read such blather. Okay, that is strong, but it is the truth. They are SO far from what God asks, that they create an experience that is virtually the opposite of what He created this beautiful universe for. The work they do, with the poor, the sick, the needy is wonderful work but it needn’t be done to prove love for God, but love for each other which IS love for God. But they don’t see that truth. They scourge themselves emotionally and physically because they believe that they must feel what He felt on the cross or not be acceptable to him. Even if you accept the cross as the story that exists, He never intended everyone else mount it with Him, the whole point of the New Testament is that He sacrificed so that none other need do. Not so that all others must do. I have a long way to go in that book, but it brings to me tears every few paragraphs and so I have to intersperse it with other things, I can’t stay immersed in that darkness for too long or the darkness starts to fall on me, I am not that strong. Yet. But one of the reasons I am with that book at all is because Jenna says I must know what that experience is, the dark night of the soul, in ways I have not yet experienced, though I have had my own special version of it, I need broaden my understanding. So I am listening and learning and I think, I hope, growing. There’ll be more about that over time. But there’ll be more other things interspersed of cheerier nature. I promise. For tonight though, this is that. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene