So, what's your point, gene?
may have gotten this far without asking that question, but I doubt it.
Some of you, may have skipped right on down here, or some of you
may have sent me an email with that question. It didn't occur to
me that it wasn't obvious until I began looking at the totality of what
I've written here. And it is a fair question. So, I'm going
to take a shot at answering it, because in all truth, I am not entirely
sure I know either. So, as I write, maybe we'll find out
together. Jenna often works that way with me. The way
Neale, described his pen moving by itself as he brought forth
Conversations With God, is often how it feels to me as I type. I
surprise myself with what comes out on screen, and I know it is Jenna,
guiding me as always. She's the reason this site exists.
Well, that it exists the way it does, a dear friend of mine actually
sort of pushed me into this, into taking what is inside me, outside me.
I've been doing that in my own way for years, as I'd come across
a place that interested me, I'd post the light stories. I left the Spiritweb CWG list a couple of weeks before the
heart chakra opening, at Jenna's urging, she
wanted me to herself those two weeks she said, to prepare me, and
believe me I NEEDED that preparation, I nearly failed the "test"
anyway, by bailing on her, had it not been for those two weeks of her
telling me how intense this would be, how safe it would be, had she
just surprised me with it, I don't think I would have made it through
intact. But I did. WE did. And we are joined in a new way, she speaks with me now, not always
whispering within me, sometimes I hear our voices merge in there.
I mean, I am speaking or she is, and it is as if we complete each
others sentences. This was more than a little disconcerting to me
the first few times that happened. He said wryly. Actually,
as I've told you, SHE is the sane one, I was the one going, WHAT THE HELL is
going on in here, Jen? giggle. She explained that it was
time for me to stop playing and start being.
What I did for the first five years after leaving the list, was
occasionally do a google search on odd terms, light globes, things
like that, I found lots of interesting places, read lots of interesting
things, posted the synopsis of the three light stories many, many
times, in many out of the way places, I told you about that in the
Light Experiences story. But I never found another. Jenna
never told me not to post them, but she did always tell me I'd never
another. She always told me why too. She said it didn't
hurt anything to look. I did learn a lot. A lot of it worth
absolutely nothing, giggle, but that learning can be valuable too.
I did meet some very interesting people. It wasn't bad, but
it wasn't much either. I pretty much stopped doing that around 2005. I never came close to finding another who knew
them too. I felt like I was treading water for most of the last 12
years, until my dear friend pushed me out of my comfort zone and into
the deeper water. I have been waiting, not completely
inert, for something Jenna tells me is
coming. This is part of that. What that is will remain
untold until it is. If it is, I add, and she always makes me say,
that if "is" gene. With jen, it is never if, it IS.
But, with, gene, until I see, well, Thomas could just as well be
my name, he of doubting fame - you could look him up. Any of the
four gospels. :^).
The point of THIS though is simple. It is to tell people, that we
are not as small as we think. That we are NOT alone. That
THIS is NOT all there is. For most of my life, I thought of those
light globes as I saw them, outside me. I know no one else saw
them, but those pictures I had made do NOT begin to do justice to their beauty.
And my words about how I felt in those few seconds are but
pitiful shadows of the power of the love I felt. These were not
near-death experiences. There was no one telling me to walk into
the light. None of that. NOTHING like that. Just that
overpowering, mesmerizing, COMPLETE sense of peace and love. And then
in early summer 2007, Jenna told me something that had never occurred to
me. After my friend had pushed me to tell these stories, Jenna
agreed that it was time to stop treading water and stop looking for
others and time to just put this all out there, and let people find them on
their own, she told me that the point of doing that was the reason I
came here in the first place. To tell people the truth of us.
All this time, I've seen those globes, in my mind's eye, outside
of me. What Jenna said that shook me so was that they didn't
start there, they started as I described them, they emerged from me.
They were IN me all along. THAT feeling is IN me, though I cannot call it forth. It didn't get generated from
someplace else, it came from within me. That love, that CAPACITY
for complete, utter love is alive in me. And in you. In all
of us. ALL the time. We are going to, one day, learn to
unlock that love within us. And on that day we will know this
place for what it really is. Home to the children of God.
are spirits here, having an experience of what life is like to be
without our creator. We know that hurts. Hell is not some
place, we are sent when we are bad, it is what we create here for
ourselves when we forget the truth of who we really are. Eden is
not a place on earth. We can look for it forever here and we'll
never find it. The stories of it in the bible, are what people
dimly remember of Home. Eden is where we all came from. We
didn't descend into hell, we descended, veiled, from Eden/Heaven/Home, separated ourselves
into mind, body and spirit, with a part of us, our "twin flame", our
other half, left home to watch over us, guide us, come to us if we find
the faith to call. We ALL have a Jenna, some have more than one,
but there is not a human here without a part of themselves back "home".
We are love that can't be lost. When we leave this place,
no matter how, no matter what sort of life we have lived here, we wake in our true home, the place from which we came,
in the arms of all those who love us, not just the human family we knew
here, the friends we knew here, but all of God's children, because the truth of us is, we are ALL
What came out of me, what I felt in those moments, is what
home is like ALL the time, it is a place where love is all that exists.
One way we "know" that there is our memory of this place, where we
can forget that love is all there is and demonstrate all too well that
principle in how we treat each other here. If it were not for the
"veil" we could not have this experience as we do. We would be
but actors on a stage, it is only in forgetting the truth of us, that
we can create the experience we do here. We have many
opportunities to do this, we have many lives in which to do this, Jenna
tells me that we all have a chance to play every role, from poet to
pauper to pirate to king. It is as God explains in Book 1, a
grand collaboration. It is also important to say that no soul is forced to do this and some choose not to. This is, for instance, the only time I have been or will ever be here, in this form. After this lifetime, Jenna comes and I guide, as has always been true before.
What I am doing now, by offering the
experiences I have had to you, is telling you that without doubt, I
know this is not all there is, that YOU may know this is not all there is. There is NEVER reason to lose
hope, because we cannot "lose" in any sense. We all go home
leave here. There is nowhere else to go. There is no
judgment, only celebration at our return.
We can look then at how we did whatever we did and decide what we
might want to try next time, how we might grow through the experience
we have just had. Life, here in relativity, is a grand
collaboration, a giant collaboration of souls and the greatest gift our
creator gave us was the opportunity to truly know who we are, by
discovering here, who we are not, for one example, how can you know what love is if you do not know what the absence of love feels like - here we can have that experience, and many, many more.
Jenna assures me it is
wonderful, human gene has his doubts, but when the doubts start to
overcome me, she shows me again the lights,
and I know all over again that this is not all there is, the love that
is in me for all of us is the only "real" thing about me. That
truth of me, of us all, is that this small part of us that we can "see"
here is, just the tip of our iceberg. We are so much more than we
And then, I have hope again. That is the point of this.
That you too might know this is not all there is. To assure you that you
are not defined for eternity by who you are in this moment, that you
have the right and the ability to create yourself anew in the next
moment here and in the next lifetime, as many times as you wish and to expect without fear to bask in the
glory that waits us all
as our birthright in our true home when your time here is complete. I've got a LOT more to
say about that, I know things about that, that no one knows. That
is the sort of thing I'll blog about. That and others. I am
no different than you. I am not special. We are the same,
all of us, all colors, all creeds, all people of this planet, are
children of the same creator. I have been gifted with some
special experiences and trusted to share them with you, this I have now
done. And that is the point. :^) gene
If today brings even one choice your way,
choose to be a bringer of the light. :^) gene.